VIRTUAL SEDER

LEADER: Happy Passover everyone and welcome to our VIRTUAL Seder covering the highlights.  Sort of a best-of compilation.   Kiddush, Questions, Slavery, Children, Plagues, Dayeinu, Pesach, Matzah, Maror and Hallel. Hold on to your Kipahs! and let's get this Seder started....

 LEADER OVER CUP OF WINE Blessed art thou, o'lord our God, the maker of the fruit of the vine! 

Baruch ata adonai eloheinu melech haolam, borei pri hagafen.

PARTICIPANT: Thank you God for giving us festivals and seasons to rejoice, and this Festival of Matzot to commemorate the Exodus from Egypt. You have made us and our seasons of joy holy!  [ Drink first cup of grape juice / wine ]

PARTICIPANT:  Let us recite the Shehechiyanu Prayer thanking God that we have come together for this Seder: Thank you God for bringing us to this time and place!

ALL:  Baruch Ata Adonay Elohenu Melech Ha-olam, She-hechiyanu, V’kimanu, V’heegianu, La’zman hazeh.

 LEADER [Holding matzah]  This is the bread of application that our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt and you can buy 20 boxes for a dollar at Shop Rite. All who are hungry, come and eat, all who are in distress, come share Passover with us! This year we are here, next year let’s celebrate in Jerusalem. This year we are quarantined, next year may we be free! 

Can I ask you a question, or four?

PARTICIPANTS SING TOGETHER THE FOUR QUESTIONS

Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot?

Sheb'khol haleilot anu okhlin hametz umatzah; halailah hazeh [x2], kuloh matzah. [x2]

Sheb'khol haleilot anu okhlin sh'ar y'rakot; halailah hazeh [x2], kulo maror. [x2]

Sheb'khol haleilot ein anu matbilin afilu pa'am ehat; halailah hazeh [x2] , shtei f'amim. [x2]

Sheb'khol haleilot anu okhlin bein yoshvin uvein m'subin; halailah hazeh [x2], kulanu m'subin. [x2]

 SONG:  Call and Response

LEADER:                                                                    Participants:

What's up with the matzah?                                    We Were Slaves.  Now can we drink some wine?

What's up with the horseradish?                             We Were Slaves.  Now can we drink some wine?

The parsley in the salt water?                                 We Were Slaves.  Now can we drink some wine?

What's with the Chillaxing at the Table?                Now we are free.  Now can we drink some wine?

PARTICIPANT:  We were slaves in Egypt. God did some really cool stuff and then we weren't. Had God not taken us out of Egypt, then what? We, and our children, and grandchildren would still be slaves in Egypt and there may not be cures for many diseases or semiconductors or theories of relativity, the pocket fisherman or even the shopping cart! But he did so let's talk about it.  But we are hungry so let's keep it brief.

 LEADER For some reason, the rabbis thought it important to discuss four kinds of children just to show we have a 75% chance of being disappointed. One Wise, One Evil, One Simple, and One Who Doesn’t Know How To Ask. GUIDE the wise one through the obligations of Passover and hope he/she supports you in your old age. TELL the Evil One, Seriously?  How about joining the family here? EXPLAIN to the Simple One, “God Good…Slavery Bad.” ENGAGE the one who doesn’t know how to ask, Oh bless their heart, and make that child feel comfortable, and tell them about the Exodus.

 PARTICIPANTS SAY TOGETHER [Take a drop of juice/wine from your cup for each plague] There are ten plagues which God brought upon the Egyptians:  Blood  —  frogs — Lice — Wild Beasts — Disease — Boils — Hail and fire — Locusts — Darkness — Death of the first born - (Novel Corona virus optional).

ALL SINGING OF DAYEINU 

Dei,  Deiyenu  x 4

 PARTICIPANTS SING TO TUNE OF DAYEINU 

If God led us out of Egypt and he did not punish enemies, If God led us out of Egypt: 

Dayeinu.  

If God punished all the enemies but he did not part the Red Sea, If God punished all the enemies Dayeinu. 

If God brought us out the Torah, but he did not lead to Israel. If God brought us out the Torah Dayeinu

If God brought us in to Israel, but didn’t build a Temple, If God brought us in to Israel,

Dayeinu.

 LEADER Rabbi Gamliel said: On Passover we must discuss three things: Pesach, Matzah and Maror.  And if Rabbi Gamliel said it, who are we not to do it?

 PARTICIPANT:  [point to the shankbone ] PESACH is the sacrifice our ancestors would eat during the time of the Temple, because God passed over the houses of our ancestors in Egypt.

 PARTICIPANT: [ point to matzah ] This is MATZAH. Because the dough of our ancestors did not have time to rise before we fled. 

 PARTICIPANT:  [ point to Maror ] This is MAROR - why do we eat it? Because the Egyptians oppressed our ancestors in Egypt (in case you have not been listening), they made their lives bitter with hard labor, with mortar and bricks, and other hardships.

 LEADER  In every generation we need to feel like WE had left Egypt. So now we need to thank and praise God for the miracles of the Exodus. Thank you! 

 PARTICIPANT:  Blessed is the maker of the fruit of the vine! [Hebrew version above — Drink the Second Cup]

 LEADER  Blessed is the maker of bread. Blessed is God who commanded us to eat Matzah!

Baruch ata adonai eloheinu melech ha olam, ha motzi lechem min haaretz, Baruch ata adonai eloheinu melech haolam asher kidshanu b mitzvotav v tzivanu al achilat matzah. [ ∆ everyone eat matzah ]

 Blessed is God who commanded us to eat Maror! 

Baruch ata adonai eloheinu melech haolam asher kidshanu b mitzvotav v tzivanu al achilat maror  [ Everyone eat the Maror- Horseradish or Romain lettuce ]

Rabbi Hillel combined the Passover offering, the Matzah and Maror together in a sandwich and eat them to fulfill the words of the Torah. He is quoted as saying “They shall eat it with Matzah and bitter herbs.”  So that's what we do next.

Almost ready to EAT the Passover meal

 PARTICIPANTS SAY TOGETHER Thank you God for this awesome meal!  Blessed is the maker of the fruit of the vine!  [ Hebrew version above — Drink the Third Cup ]

 SING TOGETHER

 “Oseh Shalom bimromav, who ya’aseh shalom aleinu, v al kol yisrael, v’imru, amen! Yaaseh shalom, yaaseh shalom, shalom aleinu, v al kol yisrael. [ ∆ Say together ] God bring peace to the Jewish People!   Blessed is the maker of the fruit of the vine! [Hebrew version above — Drink the Fourth Cup ]

 EVERYONE TOGETHER

NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM ANY WHERE BUT STUCK IN OUR HOUSES  

SHANA HABA B’ YERUSHALAYIM  ANY WHERE BUT STUCK IN OUR HOUSES  

NOW WE EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Accountability in Government Act

Accountability in Government Act

by: Rich N Penniless

Whereas a large number of elected officials of The United States of America place more importance on reelection or partisan politics than on performing the duties for which they are elected in the first place, it has become necessary to enact the Accountability in Government Act.

Article 1:            Accountability to Same Laws

Members of congress and their staff are hereby subject to the same federal, state and local laws and regulations as all other private citizens living and working in Washington DC.

Article 2:            Full Time Employment Devotion to Duties

Members of Congress are full time employees of the government of The United States of America and, like employees of other organizations, are expected to devote their entire skill, efforts and attention to official congressional business during normal business hours.  Campaigning and reelection activities, as well as personal speaking engagements, are not considered official congressional business and can only be performed during those times after normal business hours or during personal time off (“PTO”)

Article 3:            Business Days and Personal Time Off (“PTO”)

Member of congress are entitled to up to five (5) weeks of Personal Time Off (“PTO”) per calendar year.  During normal business hours, they can only engage in activities not considered to be official congressional business during PTO.

Members of congress must spend a minimum of 200 workdays in Washington DC; either in session or performing official congressional business.

Article 4:            Government Shutdown Salary Suspension

Members of Congress shall not receive their government salaries in the event that any government shut down or related activities prevents any other government departments from receiving their salaries.  This includes the event of a full or partial government shut down.  Furthermore, members of congress are required to remain in Washington DC during any such periods in which there is a full or partial government shut down.  During such periods all PTO will be suspended.

Article 5:            Balanced Budget

It is the responsibility of congress to establish and pass a budget in which all government programs and spending are projected to be funded and paid for using government collected income.  In the absence of a balanced budget, all members of congress will forfeit all salary.

Article 6:            Best Interests of Entire Country

The Congress is tasked with representing the welfare and interests of the United States of America.  Given the current practices of congressional voting procedures, it is possible for the minority to block legislation that is supported by a strong majority of its members.  To make sure that any legislation that is supported by a strong majority of the people’s representatives is brought to each house for a vote, any legislation that has the support of 60% of its respective house members must be brought to the floor for debate and vote.  Such support votes shall be the top of each day’s agenda.

Furthermore, the filibuster shall become law of the land for purposes of government appointees.  If a government appointee cannot muster 60 votes to overcome a filibuster, then that official cannot fully represent the good of a strong majority of the United States of America.

“ABC” – The last line of defense for Trump voters

I was at a beach house in the waning days of summer speaking with several Trump voters about the recent salvo in a long line of disturbing comments and tweets by our President.  To my amazement, it was the first time that I saw any group of MAGAs actually show some level of disappointment in, or at least awareness of the possible dangerous rhetoric of, their anointed Sir Drainer of Swampland.  Just when I thought this might be the possible signs of remorse in having been a party to the election of our Tweeter-In-Chief, to a person they all responded in unison “A-B-C.”   What was this ABC?  Was it some form of code?  Was it a rallying cry of defiance from the right?  Alas, it was but the last line of defense for the Trump voter.  It was a final and unchallengeable pathological rationalization of “Anyone But Clinton.” 

It was at that point that I realized President Trump was right.  He could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and his supporters would never waiver in their support.  Gone from their typical defense of Trump were the assertions that he would make America great again by building the wall, by keeping the Islamist Terrorists out of the country, by repealing and replacing that scourge known as failing Obamacare, by draining the swamp, by building a great team around him… by eschewing the political correctness that used to make people think twice before offending their neighbor.   None of that mattered anymore because his inability to deliver on his promises will always be secondary to the fact that he was ABC, Anyone But Clinton.

Against my better nature, I went there.  Remind me again why Clinton was so much worse than what we got?  (Why do I bother).  “She killed those poor people in Bengazi.”  You do realize that the State Department is not responsible for security at embassies?  “But she lied about the video.”  But the video did not kill the diplomats and everyone in the administration apologized within 48 hours for the mistatement.  And more diplomats were killed under former administrations.  And.  And.  And.   “But she lied about the emails.”  Even if true, I am not sure the “lie” defense really favors your candidate.  “Oh, let’s not talk politics.”  And, so it ended.

After all of this, I am still not sure that the ABC defense was a real defense or just a backdoor to not having to admit that they made a mistake in voting for Mr. Trump.  It’s probably a little of both…or neither.  I have stopped trying to figure it out. 

Anti-Semitism: The Modern Global Version of School Yard Bullying

The Dawning of the OFOP Movement

By:  Rich N. Penniless

One-Fifth of One Percent:

Last year I was having lunch with three millennials.  All three were college educated professionals.  One was from a town on Long Island, one was a recent US college graduate who grew up in a wealthy suburb of Paris and the third was a professional educated in Turkey.  When I asked them what they thought the world’s Jewish population was, the answers were astonishing.  Two said 40% and the third said 60%.   It is an understatement to say that they were surprised upon learning just how wrong they were. 

For all of the rhetoric, and protests, and damnation regarding the “horrible Jews”, I think the one thing that is lost on the world is just how small in numbers the Jewish population is.  The fact is that Jews make up approximately one-fifth of one percent of the world’s population.  ONE-FIFTH OF ONE PERCENT.  That is correct.  Only 0.22% of the people of earth are Jewish, leaving 99.78% to everyone else.   Putting it in context, only two in every thousand or 22 in every 10,000 people are Jewish.  If a sold-out Madison Square Garden were a representative breakdown of the world’s population, only 40 of those in attendance would be Jewish.

Within the context of the paltry size of the world’s Jews, when I try to understand anti-Semitism, all concept of rational thought seems to evaporate.   Forget the fact that the One-Fifth of One Percent have been disproportionate contributors when it comes to the betterment of mankind in the areas of medicine, technology and the supporting of those less fortunate.  Forget the fact that the One-Fifth of One Percent, who have the power to eradicate their neighboring enemies, only resort to violence as a last resort.  Forget the fact that the One-Fifth of One Percent are often the vocal minority when it comes to protecting the rights of others; even the rights of Muslims here in the US.  Sadly enough, when I say forget these facts, it is only because the world already does.  Don’t get me wrong.  I do not agree with everything Israel does but until we all live in the shoes of a tiny nation in constant peril from far more populous neighbors with the stated goal of annihilation, can we honestly say that we would show the same restraint in how we would act to ensure our survival?  Just think what the US reaction would be if some terrorist group was lobbing rockets into Texas from Mexico.

The Modern School Yard Bully

The truth is that anti-Semitism is really nothing more than a global version of simple school yard bullying.  It is insecure members of the stronger, more popular population picking on the ones who choose to pursue the true path less taken. The ones who choose not to conform to the majority’s definition of how things should be.  The ones with the audacity to be “different.”  How is anti-Semitism that different from the school yard bully who sticks the member of the chess club in a locker?  How is anti-Semitism that different from the taunts, or wedgies, doled out by the greasers on the hapless AV squad?  How is anti-Semitism that different from members of the popular majority constantly traumatizing those who choose the less popular pursuits of band, EMO, orchestra, computer club, LARPING, debate club, Goth or mathletes?  It really isn’t.  The motivation is the same.  It is pure and simple ignorance-driven hatred.  The history of civilization, on both a macro and micro level, is littered with examples of the exploitation of the “different.”  In many cases, the motivation is centered on the simple premise that “they can.”

The Birth of OFOP:

Contributing to the growing anti-Semitic sentiment throughout the world just may be the misconception of size the Jewish population.  Maybe the Jews are caught between the rock of being seen as the weak outcast and the hard place of being misconstrued as a larger than actual percentage of the world’s population to be dealt with before becoming too strong.  Pick your poison.  The result is the same in the form of BDS, SJP and all other self-righteous, acronym based movements of protest, hatred and intolerance.

What can be done to right this injustice?  Maybe those who abhor anti-Semitism, and all it stands for, can do their part in educating the world that the Jews are only a small minority of “different” folks who just want to do their part in healing the world.  Maybe it’s time for the right minded of the world to say “Enough, leave them alone.  They mean you no harm.”  Maybe it’s time to educate the small minded that the One-Fifth of One Percent is neither a plague nor a threat.  Maybe it’s time for us all rally around the cry of “One-Fifth of One Percent” with our own acronym of counter-protest; OFOP.   When faced with the small mindedness of anti-Semitism, let the righteous of the world respond with four simple letters, O-F-O-P.  Let the letters of OFOP be the silent protest in response to hatred and bigotry.  

If you can’t write it, then respond with the simple hand signal of one hand showing the number one over the other hand showing the peace sign.  This not only signifies one peace but also represents the Roman numeral for one over the Roman numeral for five.  “One-Fifth of One Percent.”  Let the letters and hand symbols of OFOP be the response to the petty bullies who propagate irrational hatred of those who choose to be different.  Hopefully, one day OFOP will extend beyond anti-Semitism and come to be a symbol against all irrational hatred.  Let OFOP be the beginning of a better, more peaceful world. Let OFOP start with you.

Please share this with all of your friends and feel free to include a picture of you making the “One-Fifth” hand signal to show your support for OFOP but more importantly to show your condemnation of anti-Semitism and all forms of hatred and bigotry.  Let’s start a movement…

What if Social Media is Right about Me?

What if Social Media is Right about Me?

It just so happens that I am a genius.  I am also a certified leader (or Happy. I keep forgetting which one).  Most important, you will be happy to know that I am smarter than 99% of all other users of social media.  On the other hand, it appears that I do not love anyone in my family nor do care about important social issues and, apparently, I do not want to find a cure for a whole slew of horrible diseases from breast cancer to AIDS.

At least that is what my social media habits say about me.  I often wish it were that simple.  How great the world might be if my abilities and achievements can be determined by how I respond to a single post on Face Book or Linked In?

I could forever gain great comfort in knowing I am a genius just because I can figure out that the answer to 9 x 9 is some number other than 81 based on the previous wrong answers to other equations ranging from 1 x 1 to 7 x 7.   If I had known about the internet years ago, I could have saved tens of thousands of dollars on my Wharton MBA because, according to LinkedIn, the only qualification you need to be a leader (or to be happy.  I keep forgetting which one) is to see that word first on a word search board.  Should I just accept providence and be proud of the fact that knowing the proper execution order of mathematical signs puts me in the top one percentile of all Face Book users or should I be worried that 99% of the internet generation cannot do simple fifth grade math?

Oh, the places I could go with my newly found broadband powered greatness.

But, unfortunately, this level of greatness comes at a cost.  My failure to “Like” melodramatic sayings espousing love for family, god and/or puppies puts me in the company of other cads who also don’t love their families (or god or puppies).  There was a time when I thought I loved family, faith and furry creatures, so imagine my sadness to find out that I do not.  Maybe, the most disheartening thing about being defined by my social media activities is the realization that I do not want to cure anyone…of anything.  My refusal to share heartwarming stories of courageous people beating long odds and conquering unfathomable diseases has branded me as an uncaring psychopath who gains pleasure in the suffering of others.  But, did I mention that I am a genius?

I think the only way to survive this emotional roller coaster that is the internet aptitude test is to approach the internet in the same manner most of us approach all other aspects of life; pathologically. Propagate the good things as scientific fact because of its established foothold in cyberspace and callously dismiss the bad things as hocus pocus originating from North Korea in another feeble attempt to discredit the Satan that is America. 

That works for me.  I am a genius you know.

My Ideal Job: Commissioner of the "Idiot" Police

When I grow up, I want to be Commissioner of the “Idiot” Police Department. The “Idiot” Police Department (or “IPD”) is a special tactical law enforcement unit whose sole purpose is to identify and stop crimes against sanity.   The IPD patrols our streets in search of the stupid and the inconsiderate perpetrating their brand of selfishness on the rest of humanity.  The crimes committed by these perps may not be as heinous as theft or murder but their very existence leads to a global atmosphere of anxiety, stress and a general disbelief that our fellow citizens can be such jerks. 

The following is a summary several of the crimes that fall under the jurisdiction of the IPD. This is by no way a comprehensive list of the stupidity that is prevalent in our society today but should serve as a good basis for the human potential.

 The Non-Moving Violation

A Non-Moving Violation occurs when a motorist drives at or below the speed limit in the left lane in a non-passing or non-traffic situation.  You would think that common sense alone would dictate that one vacates the left lane if they are not prepared to take on the burden of keeping the pace.  If common sense fails, you would think that the long line of cars formed at close proximity behind you would provide a clue that you are inconveniencing more than your allotted quota.   

Not all Non-Moving Violations are the same and the severity dictates the level of punishment. 

• Misdemeanor:  Traveling at the speed limit with a trail of three or less cars
• Felony:  Traveling below the speed limit or at the speed limit with a trail of more than three cars
• Capital Offense:  A Non-Moving Violation in an HOV lane

 
Walking with the Mob

Walking with the Mob occurs when you have a group of four or more people walking abreast on a sidewalk.  First of all, even in modern cities, sidewalks are not wide enough to support two way traffic if there is a wave of four people closing in on you from the opposite direction.  But it’s not only the oncoming human gauntlet forcing people into the street that makes this a crime.  The root of the problem comes in the fact that this great wall of human kind prevents me, I mean others, from getting where they want to be in the speed in which I, I mean they, want to get there.  It is one of the laws of physics that a group of people walking abreast will be limited by the speed of the laziest member.  Being that one in four people are really lazy, a group of four is bound to progress at a snail like pace.

Stripping

Stripping is the technical term for parking illegally in front of a store at a strip mall instead of walking the 50 freaking feet to the nearest open parking spot.  This is more commonly referred to as the Dunkin Violation.  It boggles my mind that people can be so self-absorbed to think that the normal laws of courtesy and decency do not apply to them.  Strip malls were not designed to have cars parked in front of the stores.  If they were, they would have put parking meters there and would have least made some money out of the convenience.  That is why someone on a hot summer day went through the effort to paint a series of these straight white things, called lines, in intricate perpendicular and parallel patterns.  Parking in front of a store makes it difficult for the rest of us to navigate into and out of these cleverly designed examples of line art.

There are some acceptable exceptions to Stripping.  One can execute a Dunkin Violation if there is someone else in the car.  They can also skirt the law if there is a dog in the car because dogs are just so darn cute.  Please note that a baby left in the car does not qualify as an exception and elevates this crime from the IPD to the real police.

 Disturbing the Peace; Train

Like air marshals, I want to create an undercover squad of train marshals whose sole purpose in life is to confiscate, and destroy on the spot, the cell phones of those Idiots who believe that their conversations are so important that they trump everyone else’s right to quiet and privacy.  While this violation is self-explanatory and should be clearly understood by anyone with a sense of decency and decorum, there is still a sub-group of sub-humans who feel it necessary to expose us at high volumes to their lives and their problems.  We have enough of our own problems and based on the lack of public courtesy, it is fair to say that these perps probably deserve their problems.  Similar to Miranda Rights, I will have these train marshals read the following “Understanda Rights” prior to confiscation of the weapon of audial destruction.

“I have the right for you to remain silent. Anything you say in a loud voice can and will annoy every single person on this train.  You have no right to call your attorney, drinking buddy, girlfriend, hair stylist, stock broker, landscaper or anyone else that causes you to raise your voice.  If you do not have any of the aforementioned contacts, it is no wonder because you are an inconsiderate moron. Do you understanda your rights?”

 Forced Entry

Forced Entry is when an Idiot driver tries to forego the long backup on the exit ramp and tries to squeeze in line right at the exit.   This is another one of those self-explanatory laws that would not require enforcement if people showed the proper level of respect for others.  If it is a medical emergency then the IPD will understand.  Otherwise, take your Escalade or Car Service Sedan to the back of the line and suffer like the rest of us.  In addition to the medical emergency exception, it is acceptable to bypass the backup at an exit ramp if someone towards the front of that backup, in a momentary loss of sanity, leaves enough room for you to slide in without you having to slow down in your lane or having to push your way in.  In such cases, the IPD can arrest the party who failed to keep that important distance between cars at a length of less than six inches.  In this case, the charge is “Accessory to a Forced Entry.”

 Illegal Standing

Illegal Standing is having someone stand in an open parking space while a friend or relative pulls the car around.  This is unacceptable and violates every unwritten rule of shopping mall parking etiquette.  It is time to take this set of unwritten quality of life parking lot rules and finally memorialize them.  I propose that the unwritten rules of courteous parking lot etiquette finally get written down and enforced in a new Constitutional amendment.  Part of the amendment will be immediate amnesty for anyone who runs over the Idiot standing in a space.  Very simple.  If you get your car there first, it’s your spot.   None of this I saw the spot when I was three rows over crap.

 Neighborhood Botch

A Neighborhood Botch is perpetrated when one parks in front of a house on the left side of a two way road because they are too lazy to turn around and park the correct way.  I more than understand the danger, difficulty and time consuming nature of the three-point turn.  Highway safety statistics are littered with examples of the bad things that happen during the execution of the three point turn… or not! 

 Miscellaneous

I think you get the idea as to plethora of stupidity crimes that would keep the IPD busy.  Here are a couple of other petty crimes that also fall under the purview of the IPD.

• More than 15 items in the express lane at the supermarket. 
• Not removing a crying or overly noisy child from a place where common sense dictates doing so.
• Littering:  Severity of the punishment will be indirectly proportional to the distance the perp is to a garbage receptacle at the time of the crime escalating up to a capital offense if you litter right next to a trash can.
• Telling me that I don’t care about something if I chose not to share you tear jerker story on Facebook.  This falls under a special Idiot Slander Code.  It also covers anyone who angrily yells at another because they do not agree with their position.  It does allow for you to calmly call that person an Idiot.

Epilogue

I would be remiss if I did not discuss at least one existing crime that I would not actively prosecute.  Texting and walking.  More times than not it is the perpetrator of this crime that is hurt the most.  Whether it is falling down a manhole, walking into a parking meter or stepping in dog poop, this is one of those crimes that falls under the category of divine poetic justice.

Invictus

The 8 Characteristics of a Successful Entrepreneur

 

The Entrepreneur:  Nature vs. Nurture

I have helped start three companies, have created and grown several divisions within larger companies and have advised more than my fair share of entrepreneurs on their business ventures for over two decades.  As such, I have been exposed to a great many entrepreneurs, both successful and unsuccessful.  Through this exposure, I have found that the entrepreneur, this special breed of humankind, definitely marches to the beat of a different drummer. 

There has been much debate over the years as to whether entrepreneurs are born or made.  While I fall strongly on the nature over nurture side of this argument, it comes with a caveat.  Entrepreneurs are like gifted athletes.  They are born with the innate talents, abilities and characteristics to be that successful entrepreneur.  On the other hand, like the elite athlete, most would-be entrepreneurs, no matter how gifted, would fail without accumulating the proper tangible skills, training or guidance.  Also like the elite athlete, the successful entrepreneur will constantly acquire and hone the necessary skills for success. 

Sadly, though, no matter how many skills or specialties a person accumulates in life, only select few have the natural born make up to be the successful entrepreneur.  While no two entrepreneurs are the same, I have found that there are 8 main characteristics shared by them all.  The pneumonic “INVICTUS” will assist us on this journey of discovery and enlightenment.

I               Industrious / Hard Working

N             Narcissistic

V             Visionary / Foresight

I               Intrepid (Resolute Fearlessness, Unwavering Confidence)

C             Communicative

T              Thick Skinned

U             Unemployable

S              Spirit / Passion

 

Invictus:  Strength in the face of adversity

I chose Invictus not only because its first letters correspond nicely to the required characteristics of an entrepreneur but also because the meaning of the word Invictus is the very personification of an entrepreneur.  Invictus is Latin for “unconquered.”  But, largely based on the poem of the same name by William Ernest Henley and further solidified by a subsequent movie starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon, it has come to reflect the larger meaning of “strength in the face of adversity.”   If I had to pick a single concept that best embodies an entrepreneur, it would be strength in the face of adversity.

 

Industrious

Ben Franklin was one of America’s first and most successful entrepreneurs.  He founded the University of Pennsylvania, established Philadelphia’s first library and fire brigade. He invented the lightning rod, indoor stove ventilation and countless other products.  While many know of these achievements, most do not realize that Franklin was also one of our nation’s first franchisers.  Franklin would find qualified young men and would set them up in the printing business throughout the colonies.  The most important characteristic that Franklin sought in a partner was that they were industrious, or hard working. 

Although many of the 8 characteristics are not listed in order of importance, industriousness takes its rightful place at the top.  To be successful in any endeavor, unless you are a member of the lucky sperm club, you must outwork those around you.  Intelligence, charm and strength are nice characteristics to have but they are wasted without the proper work ethic to maximize their impact.  Much of entrepreneurial success also has a luck factor or the good fortune of being in the right place at the right time.  You can increase your odds of being successful by always working hard to seek out the right place to be.

 

Narcissistic

While narcissism often refers to one’s obsession with their appearance, narcissism also covers one’s love for their own abilities, ideas and achievements.  It manifests itself in a self-confidence that is impervious to outside attacks.  For these purposes it might as easily mean the lack of self-doubt.  One cannot be a successful entrepreneur unless they were truly in love with their ideas and creations.  It is this love that drives them.  It is this self confidence that creates a force field against the world’s inherent negativity towards others’ successes.  Not all entrepreneurs are as explicit in their narcissistic approach to self-promotion as Jobs, Ellison, Zuckerberg or Disney but, this characteristic in definitely present in the self-confidence of all entrepreneurs including less overt entrepreneurs like Branson, Hershey, Buffett and Franklin.

Visionary (Foresight)

Almost by definition, every successful entrepreneur has vision.  But it is more than just the ability to see that which does not exist.  Entrepreneurs have an uncanny knack to envision that which is around us in a completely different way.  Steve Jobs saw early on that the computer was not just an exclusive toy for early programmers.  George de Mestral was able to see that the plant burrs that stuck to his pants after hiking would make a novel premise for a great fastener and thus envisioned Velcro™.  Howard Schultz saw Starbucks as far more than just a seller of premium coffee beans.
 

Intrepid (Fearless Perseverance)

“He who sticks to the sidewalk may never get hit by a car but, he will also never cross the street.”  
By Yksnip Nevets (management consultant and industrial philosopher)
 
It is in the danger filled streets of the new and unknown that the entrepreneur thrives.  While others are afraid of being struck down by the traffic of failure, the successful entrepreneur welcomes the challenges that come with dodging the vehicles of doubt, challenge and adversity.  The road of the successful entrepreneur is dangerous to cross and leaves many an unworthy pedestrian to end up as a footnote in the annals of professional road kill.

Intrepid means resolutely fearless.  It is an almost pathological sense of invincibility that keeps the entrepreneur moving forward when common sense dictates otherwise.  Walt Disney went bankrupt in his early ventures and then had his first successful cartoon, Oswald the Rabbit, stolen from him.  His fearlessness to continue on led to the creation of his next successful cartoon, Mickey Mouse.  Milton Hershey failed at upwards of eight businesses before finding his sweet success in the form of caramels.  Most people would have stopped at one or two failed ventures (actually, most people would have been afraid to start even one venture).  But that is why most people are not successful entrepreneurs.

Communicative

“A really good idea effectively communicated is better that a great idea that languishes in obscurity.”

By Yksnip Nevets

The venture capital floors of Silicon Valley are paved with business plans of potentially great ideas that never got funding or support because they were never communicated properly or, even worse they were communicated improperly.  Good communication skills come in many different forms and are not limited to great business plans or PowerPoint presentations.  A good entrepreneur has the ability to paint a picture of potential; the potential of how great their idea can be.  How they do this may be different for each entrepreneur.  It could be as formal as a fully populated business plan or it could manifest itself in a passionate verbal description that leaves potential partners and investors in awe.  In certain cases, many an entrepreneur has let their product do the talking.  For this to be successful, the inventor has to make sure their product is speaking to the right audience.

No matter what the form of communication, a common communication strategy of the ultimately successful is to communicate often and in many case more than just one way.

Thick Skinned

It is said that Marconi, the inventor of the radio, was physically taken by his “friends” to a mental hospital for forced evaluation after he shared with them that he had invented a way to send communication signals without the use of wires.

For as long as there have been entrepreneurs, there have been critics, naysayers, doubters, detractors and all other forms of road blocks.  Many an aspiring entrepreneur has lacked the fortitude and has succumbed to these counter-forces and, as a result, their idea died a premature death.  The successful entrepreneur has the ability to block out the negativity of doubt and fear and push on.  The really successful entrepreneur finds improvement opportunities between the lines of criticism and uses it to make their idea and businesses even better.  The outside world often misunderstands this attitude for arrogance or narcissism (see narcissism above).  And there may be a bit of that, too but, if the entrepreneur is not so sure and absorbed in the certainty of their creation, there is no way the world will follow suit.

 Unemployable

“The truly successful are those with the impatience to accept their current lot in life but possess the patience to put in the hard work and preparation to improve it.” 

By Yksnip Nevets

Mark Cuban recently credited his entrepreneurial success in his failed attempts at working for others.  It is not that entrepreneurs cannot get jobs and do them very well.  It is the restlessness of always wanting more that prevents the true entrepreneur from remaining for extended periods of time in the indentured servitude of others.  Often this is magnified by the deep down feelings that they are smarter or better than those for whom they work (see narcissism above).  This is never a recipe for a harmonious work relationship and an impediment to a long tenure.

 Spirit and Passion

“Goals without passion are like Ferraris without gas.  Sure they look great in the driveway and impress the neighbors but they won’t get you anywhere.”

By Yksnip Nevets

As Industriousness took its rightful place at the top of this list, it is spirit and passion that have the final words.  All the other attributes of the successful entrepreneur would fade into obscurity without a blood boiling drive that fuels their every action.  Often, this passion manifests itself as narcissism (see narcissism above) or arrogance (see Trump, Cuban or Ellison).  But for the entrepreneur, the appearance of arrogance is nothing more than their passion escaping from the artificial boundaries of their physical being.  Yksnip Nevets also said that you are as the world sees you but your potential, both good and bad, lies in the way you see yourself.   While most of the world is trying to get the world to catch up to their potential as manifested in the way they see themselves, it is the entrepreneur whose self-esteem and passion sets the pace for how they are viewed by others.